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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?